There is a sin within the heart of man that has rocked elect leaders down through the ages. Oddly enough, this sin is rarely acknowledged, confessed, or understood. Although mostly characterized by ones with “low self-esteem, high ambition, or spiteful hate,” you’ve find that it masks itself with admiration; that is, until the admired become the dominate center of attention or outshines the one with this inferior complex.
Consequently, if one is basically honest they just believe most people will respond with honesty; and those who are fearful, or not so honest, tend to see others in the same projected light. For basically people see what they want to see, and not always what’s there. And only to the degree that you know, or understand, your self- to that degree you can know or understand someone else. Therefore, the hidden sin of envy doesn’t just hide behind admiration; it also projects the insecurities from some, and the projective optimistic view from others.
Envy, analogically, focuses on the admired; subliminally to gain importance or learn to attain that which is so admirable, perhaps. But eventually, the sin of envy’s true colors emerges and changes the game with “spite, devaluation, or even hate.” The idea that what rankles in envy is the power or influence someone has over you. Envy is comparative, it’s subtractive; and people hate the ones perceive to have more attractive, richer, smarter, or whatever, who could use that advantage against the admirer. And more often than not, devaluation then comes into play. In relationship to power, dependency doesn’t breed like love. It’s rotten for desire. Yes, dependency. You envy the other person the power her or she has over your life. Envy wipes out any possibility of competition. Yes, her relationship was threatened. But what made hr insecure was her subjective perception of the other more gifted person she admired. In time love, or admiration, shows its other face and people resent (envy) the power it gives the beloved/ or admired over us. The very idea of envy tells us we are over-matched. And sometimes the major emotion within the jealous situation is envy.
Are you jealous? To some that means comparisons; and what it comes down to is the standards and motive by which people strive to accomplish their dream or dreams. In the world’s system, it seems quite normal to compare ourselves with others. However, in the kingdom of Light, or God’s Kingdom, this shouldn’t come into play; for Christ our Redeemer is the Prize we should be focused on. If our self-esteem rests not within but in the eyes of others, of course we fear comparisons. And functionally speaking, most of who you are- is in part what the parent perceives you to be. Although, spiritually speaking, with Christ being our “Redeeming Role Model” we can bypass our faulty parental role model for one better.
Some of what I’ve learned about envy is from a great book by a New Zealand writer “Nancy Friday,” called “Jealousy.” In her book, one man said he developed a strategy against being compared. And at a party he separated his girlfriend over into a corner. He promoted “you and me against the world” psychology between them. And to keep her focused on him, he tried to be very entertaining. “If we are allies,” he thought, “she won’t compare me and I won’t be jealous.”
The Spartan Complex is one that describes parents who have had a hard upbringing getting angry at their children if they seemingly have a easier time in life due to their own efforts; envious that you have what they didn’t! And what is usually not recognized about the popularly named “inferiority complex” is that it is DEVALUATION – A DEFENSE AGAINST ENVY.
In competition the subjective idea makes all the difference; it’s whether you believe you’re going to win, or believe you’re going to lose. And Envy is additive, you want something someone else has. Whereby, jealousy is subtractive, you are facing loss.
Some people are beautiful on the outside, and seemingly have it all; however, relationships are more complex than the outward trappings in life. An outsider can come along, perhaps not as attractive or gifted, but simply more attentive and nourishing and have often replaced a couple’s spouse. And research has showed the replaced partner is most often not as attractive as the spouse’s partner. And if you think about it, the pivotal dynamics of many couples can turn on a dime; because of so many changes in the world today; toppling relationships which were built on “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” theory. How can there be gratitude when the relationship is no longer useful, it ends. It wasn’t love: it was a bargain.
You’ve be surprise the people who fear too much intimacy or even honesty! There is also the fear that love will lead to too much responsibility and that the object of love will make too many demands. And envy is even more poisonous than greed in that it seeks to destroy the very source of life. And where power is measured in terms of who makes the decisions, some would rank as less jealous; yet the pendulum of loss verses power, for some, must ever be tilted in the jealous person’s favor.
The noted American anthropologist George Foster pointed out that in cultures all over the world any person who stands out above the others is regarded with ambivalence (opposition, and competition). And he wrote about the “Image of Limited Good” pertaining to envy.
How sad to think that Envy stands between the insecure the originally adored; killing that relationship. Then, after it raises its evil had with all the other cousins of Hate, there is no hope for the life of what could have been. All the joys, memories, lessons learned and shared became as nothing; dead and buried by devaluation, spite, and envy. The deadly sin, Envy becomes the ill-will and mortification occasioned by the contemplation of superior advantages possessed by one intended friend (or acquaintance). Hence, the envious are vexed or discontented at the good fortune or qualities of another.
God help us all, not to contemplate such a horrid evil; as the Scriptures say: “Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy?” (Proverbs 27:4)
No comments:
Post a Comment