Nullifying Rejection’s Termination

Talent often acts like a mask shielding us from outsiders being able to see our fragility in common. We all would like to be understood; and yet, those who aim for excellence are often the most misunderstood. Therefore I’ve decide to share the following events which may clarify (behind the scenes) what I am all about, within certain dynamics that few may comprehend.

Consequently, at a near by community cottage the other day a dear associate was wondering how I might be getting along. Most likely recalling the time before when his wife’s expression and mine exploded into tears while sharing our loss of children and their refusal to acknowledge us. “You know” he said, “no one is on top all the time; and Christmas time proves this for mothers with fractions of the heart oozing with tear-stained cheeks?” “I’m fine” I said; “although Christmas and Mother’s Day have been difficult times for me in the past.”

Also that day, I began to realize how others might interpret my identification with my famous ancestors. I must say that, due to one horrific incident, a few years back, I use to awake questioning such detrimental actions of my folks with agonizing grief and pain. Peacefully, I perceived God relating to me: “you are not your parents!”

It wasn’t long until my faithful friend and I, while researching my Family-Tree, began running into Presidents just off the main stream of my line. Perhaps it was needful to equate such an affinity with such admirable historic characters as part of my inheritance. For the comforting aspects of validation soothed my wounded soul and lessened the pain. How easy it was, then, to focus on productive plans and purposes ahead. Having also met many famous people in my life, my identification had nothing to do with name-dropping, covetous drooling, nor the dreaded admiration/ hate syndrome. Indeed, those special moments seemed a natural consequence of events at the time, since my life’s always been interesting anyway.

Reflectively I might say that I’m generally a well thought of person in the community; and I’m grateful for this. Especially considering, how the past ten years humbled me at the foot of the cross before God; and I equated to only one true friend. Furthermore, if my friend had been a wimp, and I the stronger, then one could conclude the basis for our bonding was merely on the premise of dominance. However, neither of us are wimps but rather strong in the power of constant dependency on Christ.

Of course we all have hurts and disappointments which can paralyze or make us stronger (depending on the support backing). Now I have this friend, in the community, expanding my concept of projective rejection, defensive denial, and miss conceptions based on circumstantial evidence! I began to realize how others might view my consolation of identifying with related historic figures. Perhaps this is why the Bible indicated that we are not to judge. Father knows that if any of us knew the real truth behind our lives we would all be united and wars and fractions would cease and the power of unity would EXPLODE INTO MATCH-LES WONDERS OF TRUE LOVE EVERYWHERE…

At any rate the told the kind gentleman, with whom I had an affinity with his wife, “all that’s needed this Christmas is for those children of hers to send a card with ONE-word…LOVE, mom, and she would be the happiest woman on her planet!” He guessed that it was because they were too busy. “Busy has nothing to do with it,” I said rather adamantly! It’s because young adults take offense for varied reasons; but basically they project onto their parents for not getting the kind of love or life which they wanted or feel that they deserve.”

As such, all of this began to stir deep within me, bottom line: ONE WORD GIVEN, this year around Christmas time, would bring just the small effort of VALIDATION that so many are longing for; and untold commit suicide for the very lack.

To think that you and I have this awesome power to change the world, even if we’re not repentant or sorry, we could give honor where it is due and where it come back a hundred fold return. That we actually can be the deciding factor whether a love one moves forward in love and dies from lack of it. Learning from complicated aspects of relationships comparatively with the film “PLAY IT FORWARD,” why does someone have to die before they are loved and missed?

Considering just one word would so lift one’s sorrow and fill many world around with the brightness of such a smile to lift other ones sorrowful; and so the pebble thrown in the sea of life (like bread cast upon the waters), returns in great dividends to change all around.

Regards (my friends),
~Milly Hunter

BURYING FAMILY ALIVE

The appearance of normal can hide many things beneath the secret lives of family dynamics. While the term “buried alive” often refers to a physical death, there’s many kinds of dead; and many ways to die. And it seems all the technical terms for abuse rarely include the harmful aspects of neglect, neglect being more elusive and much harder to identify.

So, looking back over the past, what ever happened to the little girl who said “I’ll never stop loving you mother?” What happened to the young boy who stood against injustice from his own family and said: “I don’t care what they say, you’re my mother and I have a right to love you?” What happened to my son, taken, whom I never got the chance to say goodbye? What happened to my son who boldly stood-up for a child abused by bullies? All the years lost and stolen, all the good deeds maligned and buried. But was there a funeral? What happened to my parents saying “to death do us part?” And the innocent trust of believing that my parents would always love and support me, before the unimaginable betrayal? And what of my country’s creed, “In God We Trust.” Are there not aspects of the walking dead; some loving in the glory of the past, other imprisoned by it, and few who escape it?

The pivotal key-factor around the circumstances that either stabilises or topples a person into isolation or grave conditions are often dependant on the degree of support and courage they have around them. And since abuse is rarely identified, by neglect or apathy, I would like to paint a picture of that which is behind closed doors and closed hearts. For people often think that hate is the opposite of love when, really, it is apathy. Even the word of Christ (“who went about doing good”) painted pertinent images of the living dead; with words like: “let the dead bury the dead! “But I tell you (He said) that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." So if one can be unfaithful and “betray from the heart” then certainly their hate can manifest itself in unseen dimensions against another.

Having seen the effect of apathy wrapping its’ hateful grip around such victims, I am still amazed at the callous, silent, retreat in which the perpetrators justifies or disowns any responsibility. The consequences of guilt tosses blame with the proverbial ‘Escape Goat’ seem rather the norm, in cases of malicious control or the easily deceived. Perhaps there’s even a spirit of Misunderstanding which creeps into homes and divides, causing loved ones to see only a blurred image of what has really taken place; or who’s really mastering the puppet strings. Then there is “second-hand offenses,” promoted by hearsay or incriminating gossip.

Consequently, the relevant dynamics of most families are hardly ever seen. And Biblically speaking, “A man's enemies will be the members of his own household (Matthew 10:36)." So it stands to reason that in the book of Micah 7:5 it says: “Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with her who lies in your embrace be careful of your words.” When thus considering that the power of life and death is in the tongue (combined with the evil thoughts of the heart), it’s easier to comprehend that many could be buried alive; and just never want to speak of it. It’s the peeling back of all the layers of deception which is really difficult! And the saddest thing about dysfunctional relations is that “all too many find it easier to believe the worst” rather than to pursue the truth. Not just a truth, but I mean the whole truth. Though some lies are more convenient to digest while securing one’s elusive comfort zone. Others are simply propagated by a person’s own projection or fear, of being caught out; sort of like “do unto them before they do unto me” motto. Do most people actually stop and think of the consequences of their actions? No. And few see anything wrong with accepting rumors of offense against another which could ultimately harm, alienate, or kill another. Though people don’t usually kill themselves over a lie but a series of defaming events! It is the proverbial “straw that the breaks the camel’s back” in reference to what pushes one to the Edge of Death’s Door. The thing about rumours is that no-one really knows where a person’s head is at "after the boomerang effect of gossip" comes around. How could any one know just how close a person could be “near the end of their rope” on the edge of despair?

They say that addicts are good at cutting off people who are not acceptable or approving in their lives or lifestyle. But they are not the only ones who have cornered this market. Untold families sabotage relationships all the time! Whether that is due to second-hand offenses, envy and comparisons, or "just the fact that they are set-up by another" who is a master puppeteer! At any rate, it’s difficult to describe all the ways that people can and do cut-off another person from their lives. And yet it happens all too often. Generations pass this dysfunctional pattern down the line, most commonly portrayed among famed royals. This is a monumental epidemic condition with untold consequences of such abuse. It is this mountain of my past which I have laid squarely at the feet of the Master, the King of Kings, and living Lamb of God. My only hope is: “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse (Malachi 4:6). “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous--to make ready a people prepared for the Lord (Luke 1:17.”

The fact that history repeats its-self is most evident. So maybe the question should be asked: “why don’t we learn from the past?” One answer might be from the continual fragmentation (the burying or cutting-off) of relationships within the family dynamics. Nevertheless, I hope the following story will help conveys what I’m referring to.

A long time ago, around 2635 BC in the land of Haran, Padan-Aram, Urfa, of Turkey, lived my ancestor as a youth. History and the Bible have clear records of this story. How that Joseph (Yosef) Ben Jacob, son of Jacob Ben Yitzak (later called Ben ISRAEL), boasted to his eleven half-brothers about his dream ‘that they would bow down to him.’ Perhaps Joseph didn’t fully comprehend the family dynamics; how his father had favoured his mom over Joseph’s siblings and their mother. Yet history’s facts remain, and this same Joseph was ultimately sold into Egypt’s slavery. Only many years later did he defy the odds to become what many believe to be “Zaphenath-paneah Imhotep.” The shame of imprisonment, the isolation from home and family, all of that and more; despite the rejection and betrayal of family loved ones, Joseph did manage rise above it all. Was it his destiny, as his dream portrayed? Perhaps, and yet this detour did in-fact bring about a greater good for the whole. For all that Joseph endured qualified him for an even greater task of feeding all of Egypt and the surrounding lands; which ultimately contributed to the care and safety of his estranged family.

Do all things really work out for good, even the evil things? I believe so, with trust in the Mighty Hand divine. Are there ones who have the courage to weather the storm, against the odds, and the fortitude to rise to the top? Genghis Khan did; and many others who have had a great impact on their families and world! I pray that this is also the case with you, and yours; that the “God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” will cause you to look up and beyond your circumstances, into the heart of all that God has for you. “Dreams (as my ancestor the Dreamer probably once said) really can come true.” And so it was that after his dream-prophecy was manifested, Joseph said to his brothers: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives (Genesis 50: 20). The Lord gave…and the Lord has allowed to be taken away. Still, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, now and forevermore!

~Milly Hunter

RESPECT, When It Is Due

To give what you haven’t got is not keen.
And who would do such a ridiculous thing?
So, then, I suppose that respect is thus learned…
Who gave it first, that we appreciate what's earned?

God so loved me first, that’s why “I respect his word.”
Transformed by such Light, some still think me absurd!
If truth acts a barrier of light, driving darkness back,
The envious projects defensive boasts, for what they lack.

Thus I quite agree with Mark Rickerby.
We will always get just what we give…
But what’s the standard for life’s blueprint…
When others don’t conform to right and are bent?

Respect is learned perhaps, but also must be earned.
To show respect for a fool is folly that should be scorned.
I believe in “guilty by association,” not approving of strife.
Am I disrespectful when I’m so passionate for what’s life?

Biblically, even God shows himself froward with the froward!
I’ll give my foes a hardy ‘thank-you,’ keeping my pride lowered.
Respecting, in life, there is duality of balances that we learn.
Many use their roles to control; I’ll not give ’em power to burn!

by Milly Hunter


“With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.” (Psalm 18:26)

The Sin Masked by Admiration

There is a sin within the heart of man that has rocked elect leaders down through the ages. Oddly enough, this sin is rarely acknowledged, confessed, or understood. Although mostly characterized by ones with “low self-esteem, high ambition, or spiteful hate,” you’ve find that it masks itself with admiration; that is, until the admired become the dominate center of attention or outshines the one with this inferior complex.

Consequently, if one is basically honest they just believe most people will respond with honesty; and those who are fearful, or not so honest, tend to see others in the same projected light. For basically people see what they want to see, and not always what’s there. And only to the degree that you know, or understand, your self- to that degree you can know or understand someone else. Therefore, the hidden sin of envy doesn’t just hide behind admiration; it also projects the insecurities from some, and the projective optimistic view from others.

Envy, analogically, focuses on the admired; subliminally to gain importance or learn to attain that which is so admirable, perhaps. But eventually, the sin of envy’s true colors emerges and changes the game with “spite, devaluation, or even hate.” The idea that what rankles in envy is the power or influence someone has over you. Envy is comparative, it’s subtractive; and people hate the ones perceive to have more attractive, richer, smarter, or whatever, who could use that advantage against the admirer. And more often than not, devaluation then comes into play. In relationship to power, dependency doesn’t breed like love. It’s rotten for desire. Yes, dependency. You envy the other person the power her or she has over your life. Envy wipes out any possibility of competition. Yes, her relationship was threatened. But what made hr insecure was her subjective perception of the other more gifted person she admired. In time love, or admiration, shows its other face and people resent (envy) the power it gives the beloved/ or admired over us. The very idea of envy tells us we are over-matched. And sometimes the major emotion within the jealous situation is envy.

Are you jealous? To some that means comparisons; and what it comes down to is the standards and motive by which people strive to accomplish their dream or dreams. In the world’s system, it seems quite normal to compare ourselves with others. However, in the kingdom of Light, or God’s Kingdom, this shouldn’t come into play; for Christ our Redeemer is the Prize we should be focused on. If our self-esteem rests not within but in the eyes of others, of course we fear comparisons. And functionally speaking, most of who you are- is in part what the parent perceives you to be. Although, spiritually speaking, with Christ being our “Redeeming Role Model” we can bypass our faulty parental role model for one better.

Some of what I’ve learned about envy is from a great book by a New Zealand writer “Nancy Friday,” called “Jealousy.” In her book, one man said he developed a strategy against being compared. And at a party he separated his girlfriend over into a corner. He promoted “you and me against the world” psychology between them. And to keep her focused on him, he tried to be very entertaining. “If we are allies,” he thought, “she won’t compare me and I won’t be jealous.”

The Spartan Complex is one that describes parents who have had a hard upbringing getting angry at their children if they seemingly have a easier time in life due to their own efforts; envious that you have what they didn’t! And what is usually not recognized about the popularly named “inferiority complex” is that it is DEVALUATION – A DEFENSE AGAINST ENVY.

In competition the subjective idea makes all the difference; it’s whether you believe you’re going to win, or believe you’re going to lose. And Envy is additive, you want something someone else has. Whereby, jealousy is subtractive, you are facing loss.

Some people are beautiful on the outside, and seemingly have it all; however, relationships are more complex than the outward trappings in life. An outsider can come along, perhaps not as attractive or gifted, but simply more attentive and nourishing and have often replaced a couple’s spouse. And research has showed the replaced partner is most often not as attractive as the spouse’s partner. And if you think about it, the pivotal dynamics of many couples can turn on a dime; because of so many changes in the world today; toppling relationships which were built on “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” theory. How can there be gratitude when the relationship is no longer useful, it ends. It wasn’t love: it was a bargain.

You’ve be surprise the people who fear too much intimacy or even honesty! There is also the fear that love will lead to too much responsibility and that the object of love will make too many demands. And envy is even more poisonous than greed in that it seeks to destroy the very source of life. And where power is measured in terms of who makes the decisions, some would rank as less jealous; yet the pendulum of loss verses power, for some, must ever be tilted in the jealous person’s favor.

The noted American anthropologist George Foster pointed out that in cultures all over the world any person who stands out above the others is regarded with ambivalence (opposition, and competition). And he wrote about the “Image of Limited Good” pertaining to envy.

How sad to think that Envy stands between the insecure the originally adored; killing that relationship. Then, after it raises its evil had with all the other cousins of Hate, there is no hope for the life of what could have been. All the joys, memories, lessons learned and shared became as nothing; dead and buried by devaluation, spite, and envy. The deadly sin, Envy becomes the ill-will and mortification occasioned by the contemplation of superior advantages possessed by one intended friend (or acquaintance). Hence, the envious are vexed or discontented at the good fortune or qualities of another.

God help us all, not to contemplate such a horrid evil; as the Scriptures say: “Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy?” (Proverbs 27:4)

Rahab, God’s Trump Card

She was woven into history’s tapestry, Christ’s ancestor “lost in love...”
Trapped in her ludicrous society of Pagan worshipers not of the Dove;
Poor of her kind, despised by clients, still her “heart was of royal lace.”
Joshua, son of Nun, sent spies to Jericho who lodged there with grace.

Nations destiny pivoted on her decision; dominating the tide of events…
News of spies in the city passed to the King and to her abode they went.
Rahab cleverly detoured the King’s men; guided by Love’s Spirit wind.
Her covenant, with God’s own, proved a royal blood line would descend.

Boldly she said: “I know that the Lord will give this land to you Jews;
Thus spare me and my kin, as nothing for your good will I refuse...!”
In her dark times of trial, who’d think she’d bring forth Messiah’s seed.
Matthew, of NT, mentions her as ‘mother of Boaz,’ for destiny decreed.

This harlot disowned her culture, and gave God’s scarlet crimson sign;
As an icon of Salvation, seen at her house, denotes “a holy blood line.”
Victorious stories of the old Jericho, and armies and king defeated then.
What compares to her scenarios, as this prostitute was grafted royally in.

by Milly Hunter

Rahab in God’s HALL OF FAITH: “…By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish with those who were disobedient, because she had given friendly welcome to the spies.” (Hebrews 11:29-34 RSV) Joshua tells the story of Rahab the prostitute, who hid God’s two men. By faith she and her family were saved, says Heb.11:31, as described in Joshua 6 and the sign of salvation was the scarlet cord she tied to her window, symbol of the Blood of Christ. She became the grand-grand-mother of David, ancestor of Jesus Christ, as described in the genealogy of Jesus in Matt.1:5.

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